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Date Posted: April 2 2008

I did my last day at the office on Friday and had the obligatory leaving drink and presentation which was embarassing but I was also quite touched as I had not really expected it.A lot of folks turned up and I do feel a tinge of regret as I was there along time and if I had no ambition to do anything else maybe I could have kept on, but I think I would have been barking mad before very much longer. Also I had got used to a fairly maverick way of doing things and me and the corporate culture have got very far apart now. In a sense it allows me to complete the re-invention of self thats been coming for a long time.. Everyone was very nice but many were shocked as I had been working there 13 years and they had assumed that I would be there until I retired I suspect. I told them what I was expecting to do in future and everyone was very positive.

Most people were aware of my TG Status by the time I left and I was told that if I had wished to transition at work I would have been fully supported but the braincells were already well fried by that point and tempting as that might sound the job was just getting too much for me in the end. I was so stressed that I was forgetting how to do things which was quite scary. I am sort of in freefall at the moment and I will be trying to make a living from the music side of things for the next year, but if it doesn’t work out then I will be back in IT in some respect or maybe just filling shelves between gigs. I have a portfolio of other practicle skills that should get me through one way or the other.

I now feel a lot more relaxed and I am going to take a calculated risk on a new career (though its not really a new career as its something I have been envolved with for a long time) and also will take some time to study and improve my skills a bit. I am giving myself about a year to see if I can support myself as a musician. I don’t know how realistic that is but I am going to give it a try.I don’t need a huge income just enough to pay the bills and I Hope that is realistic...

Anyone remember this tune:
It’s a great tune

Nicked from Wikipedia

"Cast Your Fate to the Wind" written by Vince Guaraldi, was a track on Guaraldi’s album featuring his versions of music from the film Black Orpheus

 

It's me blogg in it alright gorblimey apples and pears strike a light thank you god bless you govenor

Date Posted: 15th January 2008

Current mood: quixotic

January and my Birthday approaches. I shall be making efforts to ignore it as much as possible in the vain hope that it will go away, as time seems to be passing very quickly now. I am still up to the usual rubbish. Its a great relief that Alison is eating again and is getting back to a more normal weight though she is still a bit wobbly on her legs, but that's likely to be the effect of the medication rather than anything else.

A few Elephant Shelf gigs and some very enthusiastic receptions too.We are now working on our recordings again. Its a little tiring trying to fit it all in but we are getting there I think and we should be able to start selling Cd's at gigs again at some point in the future. The Shelf is having its 300th gig party at the Salisbury pub on Saturday.We have got guest acts and your all invited. Except You because you have been very naughty

It amazes me that the band has lasted that long... Still the band that arm wrestles together stays together as they say.

Christmas Problems

Mood: Pensive Date Posted: 31st December 2007 at 10:53 am - Comments (2)
Its not been the best Christmas as Alison has been quite ill with eating problems and has hardly eaten anything for about 3 weeks.

She has lost quite a lot of weight. Its a psychological problem and she has had eating problems before but not anything as bad as this. They have usually affected her for just a couple of days, though she has never been comfortable eating in public places like restaurants which makes socialising very difficult. We have had several trips to the Doctors and at the moment she has had sufficient liquid to keep going which is a bit of a relief, but as time go's on its becoming more and more of a concern. Its very difficult to know what to do about something like this. Her Doctor is very supportive and is doing everything possible to try and sort it out, but if there is no real change in a a couple of weeks then its likely she will end up going into hospital. She has managed to eat just a little bit more which is encouraging, but she is on 3 lots of medication to try and sort it out.

We have had a couple of band gigs this weekend and one more tonight. We were at the Kings Head Islington on Friday and it was a very lively night with plenty of energy and a good vibe from the crowd too.Saw Chrissie there too and had a chat. Also we were playing at our normal later start time which was better. Then on Saturday we were at Olivers at Greenwich and there was a good crowd again too. At this time of year sometimes you don't get that good a crowd due to people being away and so on but its been good so far. Tonight we are at the Cafe Rouge in Southgate for a new years bash. We played it last year with the the old trio and this year its with the whole band. It should be fun as the food is very good too its a pre-booking event and was quite crowded last year.

I shall be a little bit distracted due to Alison though but hopefully I won't make too many mistakes or the punters will be too pissed to notice .

Have a Happy New Year and may all your dreams come true

May you live in interesting times

Date Posted: 26th December 2007

The Christmas break is finally upon us: Just one gig at the Unicorn last Friday, that was more like a rehearsal as it was empty. Boo Hoo, I guess we are just not a Camden band.

Last week I also met with David Vorhaus,(known for the album White Noise) one of the Electronic Music scenes pioneers along with Vicky from Elephant Shelf and Ralph the faithful Filmmaker and Camera Man, see about the possibility of a live event sometime in early 2008. We jammed in his studio which is almost a synth museum and it was interesting and a little different too. I spotted several bits of audio history lurking around the place. He was quite enthusiastic and open to suggestions and very approachable. If the gig happens we will also film it and there will be a video light show too.
Hope you are all having a good Christmas

More of the same

Mood: Brooding

Date Posted: 19th December 2007

My SO has been having problems eating again. This is something that I thought we had got over and done with so thats been worrying me a bit.

A fair old weekend with a few good gigs thrown in. A very enthusiastic crowd at the Salisbury on Saturday night, and plenty of leaping about. Then two duo gigs to follow, one on Sunday at the Portobello Gold which we had not played since parting company with Jessie Pie. A few technical issues occurred that night but we got around them and got a storming reception. The Gold has great food and a really friendly clientele and even better its only about 25 minutes away. It has a slightly trendy crowd rather different to our usual audience. So a fun evening and an early finish for a change. On Monday night the duo again at the Ranelagh at Bounds Green which was pretty good too, and we used a backing track on one of my tunes. It seemed to work OK too though I was a bit nervous about using it.We seem to appeal to a very wide range of people which supprises me as I rather felt that we are quite retro a lot of the time that we might only have a niche appeal. It seems slightly strange at times doing the duo as I am much more exposed, though I am seen on the front line rather more with the band now too. Christmas has crept up on us too and a couple days off will be welcome as long as there's not too much fuss. I am not a big fan of Christmas and would prefer to absent myself from it on the whole. Even the office seems to be taking a very low-key approach to it and there's a somewhat serious mood about the place. I feel a lot of people are feeling a little tired this year, or maybe that's just me come to think of it.

 

Di's doings this week

Date Posted: 10th December 2007

A rehearsal on Friday for the new Duo Delta Ladies and we tried out our new small PA which we got for duos and trios and small venue band gigs which is actually not that small as it turns out. It will do the trick nicely though.

An Elephant Shelf gig at the Unicorn on Saturday with Rangoon supporting played some nice stuff. They do a sort of west cost rock style with harmony vocals. No audience to speak off so a bit deadly, but we soldiered on. The Unicorn is a nice venue but its sort of isolated. It used to be the Brecknock a few years back and is now a music venue again and has good lights plus an in-house PA and so forth.

Sunday off to Oxford street to meet with the organisers of the Emergenza festival, which is a sort of battle of the bands to enter Elephant Shelf in it. We decided we would go for it, though I suspect we are the oldest band that will have entered as we have a combined age of about 500yrs LOL. It will be fun if we get through the first round as you have some nice venues to play at and it should get us some useful publicity if nothing else.

I am getting along OK mood wise at the moment. I went back to my Dr for a repeat prescription and she said I looked much better and on the whole I am feeling better apart from being slightly anxious. Jobwise its not so great, so its just a matter of carrying on regardless which is a bit of a pain.I don't feel to bad when I am there, but if I am working the day after a gig it seems completely crap, especially if I had a really good night, its such a come down.

A funny sort of weekend

Mood: Apprehensive

Date Posted: 3rd December 2007

The weekend started or rather did'nt with a flat battery on the car. No warning and I think the damp might have got at it. I have a booster starter thingy but due to not reading the instructions correctly it did not work the first time, I tried the next day, this time following the instructions and it worked straight away. So memo to self Read instructions ......

Saturday was spent doing lost of little odd jobs and then a gig at the Kings Head Islington. A very lively crowd but it seems strange finishing so early due to licencing problems and we could have gone on for another hour I think. Very crowded and Helena Love paid us a visit again plus a flock of Angels who turned up just before the end. Very crowded and the audience get up close and personal too, so you can really see the whites of there eyes. Not Scary though as they are a nice bunch. Nice to see the crowd getting into it big time too.

Sunday off to meet Vicky Dan & Terry from the band at Sound Control under what was the Virgin Mega Store to sign up for a sort of battle of the bands competion.the day did not go entirely to plan as I had a panic attack on the way there, and arrived looking somewhat shaky. Unfortunately the person we were to meet was unwell so off to the pub around the corner for a drink and a bit of forward planing. felt much better after having a drink. Then brought a boxed DVD set of the entire series of Sex and the City for a prezzie for the SO,(though we both like it very much) and then home. Also brought a Nina Simone compilation which is excellent.

Back to the daily grind tommorow. I have a meeting first thing, but not the kind you can sleep through. Drat. Never mind.

Stuff and nonsense for this week

30th November 2007

The Music Bit

The Usual couple of gigs ;at the weekend: A bit of excitement as we arrived at O'Neill's Muswell Hill at 8:30 only to be told that the gig was cancelled. Vicky managed to get us a gig at the Salisbury instead which we have never played on a Friday before and of course we were not expected but there was a good crowd and it was fun though slightly manic. We played to quite a young crowd who I don't think were quite sure what to expect LOL, but they seemed to enjoy it. Saturday a bit of rushing about and last minute Birthday Present for the SO but managed to get exactly what was required.Then a gig at Olivers in Greenwich which is a small basement venue and we recorded that gig, I haven't heard it yet but I am told its sounds OK. Olivers is a venue that is very atmospheric especially as its in a basement and has that real old club kind of feel to it. The stage is tiny so its a bit of a squash but its always fun to play and we had a very enthusiastic crowd again too. Its now our only regular South London Venue which is a shame as we could do with a few more down south IMHO being the token South Londoner in Elephant Shelf.

The Other Stuff

Its all a bit mad in day-job land right now. Lots of sily stuff and a slight air of panic and desperation around the place. Its not affecting me too much though which is good. My mood has been better as in stableish though I did get a bit wound up last week and I felt very down tonight but it seems to be fading away now.
I am sleeping well most of the time but having some very vivid and strange dreams, which are lightly to be the effect of the medication to a certain extent.

Stuff for consideration

Where do we go from here? I am slightly nervous about a few developments recently that are in the wind that are exciting but a little scary too. If I get a real chance can I hack it. I just don't know yet, but you have try I guess.

Time to fly a kite maybe

15th November 2007

I have managed to shake off the bug that I had last week, but it has left me feeling quite rough and burnt out. We played 2 Shelf gigs last week, Friday we were at Oliver's in Greenwich, which was OK but not as busy as as usual. Then Saturday we were back at the Kings Head in Islington which was pretty good but again slightly less busy than before though a good enough crowd.

Day job wise things are much the same as before other than my concentration getting worse then ever and my temper following not far behind. I felt a lot like walking out on Monday morning and very nearly did, I have really had enough in a lot of respects now. I think its an age thing, I don't have the tolerance that I did before. My personality is somewhat brittle and my confidence in others is easily dented.
Often I feel as though I am under siege. A lot in my life at the moment is leading to frustration. Creatively I am on an up and am getting a flow of ideas, but that's not going to solve my other problems. I would dearly love to have the time to be able to achieve more of my potential. I am not sure if this is a combination of lack of confidence or simply not sticking up for myself sufficiently. Maybe its time to ask for more please. Much much more. Wallace D. Wattles wrote a book called 'The Science of Getting Rich' which uses a premise known as the 'Laws of Attraction'. It seems to be quite a business. 'A man's way of doing things is the direct result of the way he thinks about things' yep, I guess so, now tell me something I don't know like um 'Then we must grasp the truth that every thought held in this substance becomes a form, and that man can so impress his thoughts upon it as to cause them to take form and become visible things' OK so we had the UK lottery tonight and I have been visualising buying a particular penthouse property near hear which is on the market for a mere snip at £5,200,000. So has the phone rang with the glad tidings that the required Millions are on there way. Funnily enough no.

Cough Sneeze and all that

5th November 2007

Got a bit of a cold at the moment, with a huge cough as well it seems to have been going around the band I think though we have had it in the office as well, I am hoping its not going to stick around too long, I missed the warning sign as I had a sore tShroat last week, but I put it down to straining my voice a bit it is a bug. Ho Hum. I am still ploughing on with the music endevours and did the first official Delta Ladies gig on Saturday. Delta Ladies is a duo stroke trio offshoot of Elephant Shelf and we did our first gig at the Unicorn as suport for Jimmy C's band. It went pretty well and hopefully there will be some usefull oportunitys in future. We videoed the debut and there will be something on the web in the not too distant future and also the inevitable website. LOL

Sleepy Time down South

23rd October 2007

Well I am having a reasonable time musically. We had two Shelf gigs at the weekend and I am doing vocals on a couple of numbers now which seems to be working though its a bit different being center stage, but it seems to have gone across well enough.

We were back at the Princess Alexandra in Crouch End on Friday night and said hello to Jeanie Barton who dropped in for a little while. I must go to one of her gigs again as she is a great jazz singer and also a songwriter.

Saturday nights gig was a particularly good one at the Salisbury which is an Elephant Shelf regular gig, we started late because of the England Rugby match but we had a really enthusiastic audience and they were with us all the way.Rosie is now well and truly integrated into the band and she has a great voice. Rosie will be opening for us on some gigs from time to time. She was going to do a short opening set on Staurday but due to our late start it didn't happen. Shes writes strong songs and is a very charismatic performer. Nice to see Chrissie and Helena Love (yes the Sofas are really comfortable at the Salisbury I have been told), Phillipa and Pennie and Alice Party Animal there too(thanks for the drink) and I think they had a good time...and of course the irripressible Laura.

I am still getting very sleepy which is the effect of the medication, as I suddenly feel really tired and out of it, but most of my anxiety has gone which is great. It is a bit difficult concentraiting though so I am wondering if my dosage is a little too high, but I am feeling more able to cope. I am getting a few headaches again though which is annoying.

It's only Rock & Roll But ....

5th October 2007

I saw my doctor and she confirmed that I was still alive. I had considered asking her to keep me signed off on the basis that I am an Existential Nihilist however she said that this was a state of being and not a recognised medical condition.

"Existentialism is a philosophical movement which claims that individual human beings create the meanings of their own lives. It is a reaction against more traditional philosophies, such as rationalism and empiricism, which sought to discover an ultimate order in metaphysical principles or in the structure of the observed world, and therefore universal meaning. The movement had its origins in the 19th century thought of Kierkegaard and Nietzsche and was prevalent in Continental philosophy. In the 1940s and 1950s, French philosophers such as Jean-Paul Sartre and Simone de Beauvoir wrote scholarly and fictional works that helped to popularize themes associated with existentialism, including "dread, boredom, alienation, the absurd, freedom, commitment,and nothingness"

"Nihilism (from the Latin nihil, nothing) is a philosophical position which argues that the world, especially past and current human existence, is without objective meaning, purpose, comprehensible truth, or essential value. Nihilists generally assert some or all of the following: there is no reasonable proof of the existence of a higher ruler or creator, a "true morality" does not exist, and secular ethics are impossible; therefore, life has no truth, and no action can be preferable to any other. The term nihilism is sometimes used synonymously with anomie to denote a general mood of despair at the pointlessness of existence."

You win some and you loose some I guess. The sky is blue today and perhaps thats as much as anyone can ever ask for...My concentration is a little better and the anxiety is much reduced but frankly I don't know what use I will be to anyone when I get into the office.

Other news in brief:

After the demise of the infamous "Jessie Pies Cleavage of Death" there will be born in part from its ashes the "Delta Ladies" performing mostly as a duo selections across the following styles Blues a bit of 40's style supper Jazz, a little bit of Country and a dash of Folk with the occasional dash of singer songwriter. Hopefully reaching the parts that Elephant Shelf can't.

Yesterday afternoon I spent a little time writing

29th September 2007

Yesterday afternoon I spent a little time writing some rather obscure song lyrics. I am having some particularly vivid dreams at the moment which is lightly to be the the anti-depressants as its one of the well known side effects along with about 99 others in the list. My mood did lift quite a bit in the first week but seems to have slumped completly again. Though thst text book as often when you start to take the pills you get an evening bigger dip for a while

I am not anywhere near as irritable or paranoid as I have been but then I have not been in the office for a couple of weeks so that's not particularly meaningful. I need to do something about my work situation and it concerns me quite a bit now as I am not coping well with it and I feel that I do need to change things. I need to do a bit of negotiation and I find that very hard to do. I am somebody who can out a lot of energy in to work, or projects in short bursts, but I then tend to need a bit of down-time.What I am not very good at is doing lots of disparate things in small nibbles, where I lose the overall picture, I find it frustrating and stressful when nothing ever seems to be completed. In my particular working environment a lot the tasks seem to be that way.That is often because there is no understanding of the difference between concept and implementation.

I find motivation particularly difficult at the moment and I was hoping that I would have felt the inclination to start looking at my project work again, but I have not touched the work laptop for days, apart from checking my emails.
There has only been one message from a colleague at work, no get well cards or anything else unlike the last time was unwell a few years back. I am not sure if that's a good or bad thing to be honest. I will go to the Doctors at the end of next week and see what I need to do then. I am quite good at doing a public face in the sense that I can keep going quite well and often people quite close to me are not really aware of whats going on mentally.
I have not been out of the flat for three days, but I have to go out tonight...

Human Being V Human doing

27th September 2007

How pre-occupied are you with thoughts of death? Or the utter pointlessness of everything, or is this normal? I suppose it is if your a goth maybe it is I am not as far as I can tell at least the last time I checked so perhaps its a little strange. How much activity is merely the filling up of available time. When you measure what you have achived in life are you left with a fairly minimal list? Why are there so many question marks in this blog? I seem to be mostly being at the moment and not particularly doing, but my motivation is completly out of the window though I don't feel too bad about it. I was sure I had something to say when I started this blog but now I don't think I have.

Settling down with my SSRI's again

26th September 2007

I seem to be settling down with my SSRI's again and I am feeling a lot less anxious, but I have absolutely no motivation to do anything at all.I have a daily routine though which I stick to as much as possible so I am forcing myself to do a few things. I have felt a lot more human again and less paranoid, but everything seems a bit pointless and colourless today. I am still doing all my music practice of course, but I can't seem to get to grips with anything on the computer at present, though I did a bit of very simple codeing this morning when I got out of bed.

The odd thing about the meds is they seem to have dis-inhibited me quite a lot and I seem to be talking rather too freely at times, I hope that eases off a little before too long. I had a very long chat with Rosie ( new singer in the Shelf ) and I am sure I must have bored the socks off her.

The band ploughs on and I have not fallen asleep during any gigs yet so thats not too bad really.

I am absolutely dreading going back to the day job but maybe the medication will sort that out for me.The trouble is that I tend to worry about everything which eventually means I grind to a complete halt, which is really where I am now I think parked on the cosmic hard sholder waiting for the intergalatic AA to give me a jump start.

Hello new neighbours

23rd September 2007
I met our new neighbours last night, coming back from a gig. I think they are into music as the the guy was asking me about my violin and mentioned the Quecumber whch is a Gypsy-jazz bar near us. I said I had played their once. I think its the first time I have actually seen the couple together since they moved in a few weeks back. They seemed quite nice.

The usual couple of gigs this week at the Kings Head Islington and one at an out of town pub called the Sportsman in Croxley Green. Both Kings head gigs very very lively as ever and we are getting some good feedback from them. I managed to talk to Helena Love on Friday in the interval as she had come down to see us, and she seems very nice and has really got a good look together as well, though I think she was finding a bit hot on Friday as the Kings head is a very warm venue once a few people are in there.

I am starting to adjust to being back on Citalopram again and begining to feel a lot less anxious and tense thank goodness, though this week I have been sleeping a lot. On Thursday I slept most of the day. the good news so far is I have not been waking up with Headaches and I am much less irritable.

Hello again its unlikely to be me you are looking for

12th September 2007

Well here we are again sort of almost-ish. I have been out of sorts for a few days but hopefully I will be better soon. Headaches and I can't sleep. Just checked my work email and its full of rather surreal messages including one that looks particularly like a wind-up. Don't people realise I am supposed to be doing my own job not admin for other people who only need to pick up a phone and say what is this crap about and get a swift apology for the perpetrator. I am employed to use my technical skills and its waste of money to be using me for anything else really. Well presumably not. Maybe it is time to quit finally? Think I will check out how much notice I need to give, that gives them a chance of a soft landing and enough is enough really I don't need this anymore. I could just get on with doing one project at a time and actually finishing it which would be nice.

I do like September and this years weather is I remember Septembers, Sunny but not too warm with a kind of long drawn out sunset most nights, though perhaps its just in my head that it seems that way? I worked on recording a re-working of one of my old tunes for Solo Piano. Its a bit self-indulgent but thats OK it makes change from banging out 12 bars at the pub.

If you did manage to get through that then on with the plot. I figured out if I quit the day job I have between 2 to 3 years to get on an even keel, start a business or whatever. Luckily the kind of business I am in needs contacts rather than huge investments being knowledge based though advertising is needed of course but that is not too difficult to do. Getting paid is a problem if you are in business for yourself but other people must be able to do it. What go's (should there be an apostrophe there?) against me is simply my age, if I were to think of being an employee again if my proposed business venture go's tit's up (that's an English expression for any offshore readers) that could be a major problem but if I get out of the environment I am in maybe I can actually make a go of something. Wow this is fighting talk for a depressive, but then mood disorders are what you suffer from they are not what you are nor should they define what you can become.

The Band has a couple of gigs this weekend: which should be good. The first is at the Kings Head Islington which is now really the sort of home turf as we more or less have a residency there. We have had some phenomenal reactions there recently. We also have a new addition to the Band Rosemary Rebecca Swan who is also from these here parts on myspace and she will be doing some singing with us and maybe a little more to. She is a little more down home than our previous vocalists which may work pretty well.I am really looking forward to meeting her as the rest of the band have and they say she is very good. Then on Saturday night we are at Maddens in East Finchley (an Irish owned Music and Sports Bar ) which is another happy hunting ground for us and also a regular venue too.

To infinty and beyond then >>>> Woosh .....

Hmmn.....

9th September 2007

Still fairly busy with work and the band and we have had some very good reactions recently. Its fun but its also quite hard work with a day-job as well.
In a sense the Band has been a little like therapy for me and has often helped me to get through bad times when I have been at a very low ebb.
There is a certain discipline required to make it happen, and that can help to keep me going at the times when I would just stop perhaps and retire to the comfort of my bed. I have not been taken the little pills for about 3 years now and I am quite pleased with that fact as I try not to be a professional depressive. On of the traits that can often go with Bi-Polar disorder is a fair amount of paranoia, but I am almost managing that too. I do like my own company when things get particularly bad and I am straining to concentrate.
Having a certain amount of distance from people can be very therapeutic at the appropriate time, though friends can find it difficult to deal with.

IUpdate to the previous update to the previous update.......

24th August 2007

Everything is busy right now, The Band and work, in fact a little bit to busy.
I seem to have shaken off a strange viral thing that was making me feel dizzy and somewhat unwell. It lasted about 2 weeks, and completely knocked me out.

Bla, Bla lots of gigs Bla bla ..... New shoes, Bla Bla Bla. Rain, more Rain.

Interestingly The Shelf now has a new song in the repertoire, which was a tune that I wrote about a year or two ago. Its a reggae tune called "Undubwise" and it was an instrumental and is now a song as Vicky Martin wrote some lyrics for it. Its about being TG and its being sung in assorted pubs near you and shaven headed people are dancing to it in O'Neill's and other places .... Its just dawned on me that maybe significant.

A sunset ten years ago is always more memorable than the one last night

10th August 2007 at 10:00 am - Comments (0)

Everything looks better from a distance. Time is related to distance they say, and distant events seem to be much better than they actually were. Time glazes an attractive wash of colour over them. A sunset ten years ago is always more memorable than the one last night. Why is that. You really don't know what you have got until it's gone. Maybe these are the good old days. I manage to spend my time in two almost worlds, which should by rights have collided by now.I curious to know whats happened to old friends, but people move on and seemly I am the one that remains static amidst the turmoil.

30th July 2007

Islington and Chobam

Friday night at the Kings Head in Islington. Its a very lively venue with music every night and it went well though there were a few sound problems in the first set. Its quite a small place and its gets quite busy so the playing area is a bit cramped. Its also very hot, but luckily Robbie our bass player has an enormous fan which he takes to gigs now and I can reap the benefits. As I said its very cosy so there is risk from low flying violin bows during certain numbers. Those amongst you who indulge in fiddling will know that violins are quite sensitive instruments and area little bit prone to things dropping off mid tune... The crowd was enthusiastic on the whole so it was a generally good vibe. Dan the Harp player is riding his BSA to some gigs now and was a bit worried when I was parking my car, in the gap next to it, but it was OK as I missed . I chatted to one of the punters whilst walking back to my car and they had obviously enjoyed it quiet a bit, so that was very gratifying. I was a bit nervy on Saturday, so I did not achieve too much during the day. Then a drive down to Chobam for our gig at the "Castle Grove". luckily they were not underwater when we arrived, though its a place which gets flooded quite regularly. We played in a marquee in the garden but it did start to rain and about half way through the first set water started to come in. We shifted all the plugs and socket of the ground and lifted up everything that was not on stands and played on. At half time the rain stopped so the second set was dry, until we finished then hey presto it started to rain again. An appreciative if slightly damp audience. A lot of cable wiping and stuff as we got the stuff ready to pack in the van. The drive home was very wet with rain coming from every angle. Today was a major chill-out day....And the sun shone.

There's the Good stuff and the bad stuff and then there is the other stuff:

That should be quite clear I hope.
In life we spend far too much time looking for answers which are are usually right in front of us. You can spend along time building crackpot theories as to why things are not working out, but then you discover that shock, horror there is no conspiracy you are just dealing with idiots....

I had some questions that needed answering and they were answered completely openly and honestly. Everything must change or decay.
I had dreamed of an escape route from my present situation but I pinned my hopes to someone else's dream making it happen for me, but actually in reality I am on my own and that has come as a shock. Still grasping that fact is helpful as it allows for a more realistic approach in future.

About time for another entry

Mood: Confused Date

Posted: 5th July 2007 at 12:28 am - Comments

Well stuff moves on apace. Plenty of Elephant shelf gigs as ever and we are also recording some stuff as well. We have had a 4 page magazine article about us in a new publication called 'Swinging Heaven'. Rather a surprising place to be published in as its related to a website called http://www.swingingheaven.co.uk/shm.html Ironic as half the band is virtually celibate or too far gone to care. Still I suppose we might get some better offers now .

Gigs are booked up till December at the moment so that will keep me out of mischief for a while and we will be doing some recording as well. We are also doing a few slightly different types of gigs with a couple of jazz rock specials with some very good players in the near future including a very special one in September if it happens. We played at the Kings head in Islington last night which is fast becoming a regular venue to very good effect. Odd as it is our first gig since the smoking ban came in to force and it was quite different, it felt less tiring though I might have imagined that. Also our third gig with Ingrid who did three numbers with us last night. She was interview on Radio London last Sunday about her previous career in the 80's and gave us a plug. Can't hurt can it? And we are trying to angle an invite to the studio with the band or at least part of it. The Lucious Laura handbag was also in attendance with a friend who's name escapes me, but nice to see you both anyway

Another day wrestling with crap databases today, but its Karma I guess as I created the evil designs in the first place.

More old Rot
Date Posted: 25th May 2007 at 04:25 pm
A pleasant evenings diversion on O'Neill's Blackheath last night, not a bad gig though I have an annoying sore throat bug thats making me feel a little bit off form. Off to Rays Jazz Shop to a CD Launch for TIm Collinson in a few minutes.He played at the Music Palace on one of the Thursday Jazz nights and I enjoyed it.

On Sunday we have a gig at the Salisbury Pub which should be fun as it's usually a good vibe there. It's likely that the Shelf will be changing a bit in the next couple of months, hopefully for the better but if you haven't seen us and think you might like to now might be a good time.

#237Stuff and Nonsense
Date Posted: 6th May 2007 at 08:01 pm
It's fascinating to read some of the crap and apocrypha that circulates around the web, the frightening thing is that a lot of people seem to belive it.

A bit of a strange week this one, only one gig, a trio one at the Pink Bordello LGBT opening night and unfortunately it was an empty house even with the free champers. So a little disapointing though the Pink Bordello Jazz club will continue I think.

This weekend is mostly band rehersals and web up-dates including putting more stuff on You Tube for the band. I am not a big fan of bank holiday weekends but it's nice to get a break from work though. Sometimes in certain areas its a little bit like banging your head against a brick wall but its nice when it stops. I watched a great film today "Ray", which is Ray Charles Bio and found it quite moving.

Next weekend we have a couple of gigs lined up at the Princess Alexandra in Crouch End on Friday and O'Neals Muswell Hill on Saturday which has to be the biggest pub I have ever seen and is in a converted church with a double decker bar.

#236Prince 2 and other boring sh***
Date Posted: 28th April 2007 at 12:43 pm

Any one who knows what Prince 2 is I am sure will sympathise with me as I have just been doing a week long training course and on Friday the exam, which was weird for me as its done on paper and I generated 19 pages of scribble for it, though the leading contender did 23.
Decided said course is an invention of the

Severe case of the writers cramp after that one I can tell you.
Then in the evening a gig at the Music Palace, but sleep walking a bit as very knackered from the exam.

The www.Pinkbordello.co.uk and The Music Palace http://myspace.com/musicpalacelondon look like there are going to be really good and we had our official opening night of the Jazz with Big Chief playing this Thursday which was nice Darcy was doiing the Hostess thing and will be in attendance at the LGBT night which is this coming Wednesday.Darcey will also be there on our opening LGBT night too

Elephant Shelf will be going through a few changes in the next few weeks too so look out for that, though there is unlikely to be any Kylie at the moment

#235To grow or not to grow

Date Posted: 10th April 2007 at 11:22 am

Everything in my life seems to get bigger, though not always better.
The option to stand still is not there anymore, and my confidence in many areas is increasing but I do feel more and more lost in some respects. In a sense the more limitations you have the less you need to worry about.

Went to see the in laws this weekend apart from the usual 2 gigs which went quite well but more of that later. I go in boy mood to see the in laws but they are fully aware of everything and so as they have just got broadband was able to show them some u-tube video of Elephant Shelf which Dad-in -law much enjoyed particularly watching Jessie. I suspect that they just tag my TG'ness as some sort of slightly artistic eccentricity, still its an easy cop-out.Then on to the sister-in-laws as they live around the corner for a chat about the government wasting money and more watching Elephant Shelf on You tube.Almost convinced Alison to die her hair as it was red but is now white in places and its a bit ageing. Sister in law Dawn will pop down to london to see a gig at some point and her husband Richard said he might come down so that will be fun. Dawn is a make-up artist for photo shoots and films but does the extras rather than the stars I think.

Too good gigs on Friday and Saturday, one our new venue The Music Palace at Crouch End, which is a nice 150 seat venue in a sort of 80's style in a old chapel and we are booking acts for it too. Then another new venue on Saturday, an O'Neils in Muswell Hill which is also in an old church though extremely large.

The day job continues on apace and things seem to be coming together quite well, but there is always something new on the boil and there never seems to be time to consolidate anything, but that's life I suppose.

I don't have time to agonise about being TG, its like zen I am and that's it.Most pople deal with it quite well by ignoring it totally and treating me like a normal human being, which is cool.

Acceptance is actually being asked to pass the loo role through to the other cubicle

#234Take a deep breath

Date Posted: 28th March 2007 at 10:07 am

Well I have been having a slightly strange time of it recently, I have had several panic attacks in a row and also bouts of insomnia, which has left me feeling a bit wasted, but on the plus side I am now able to do a portion of my work from home which is much better as with no interruptions I can actually get to finish off a few things for a change.
I ma not sure if I am going to need soemthing from the Doc or not but I wil wait and see.

I am not convinced that the band(Elephant Shelf) is going to make past pub status somehow, I did have high hopes for it at one time, but it may be useful as a springboard to better things when I have enough confidence.

Alisons hand is begining to get the strength back now which is a very good sign and she go's for her first proper physio session today.

 

More inane ramblings

Date Posted: 4th February 2007 at 12:07 pm

Its great having a spell checker on the browser, I might even get mistaken for someone vaguely intelligent!

A couple of reasonably well attended gigs this weekend, After Office Hours in Barnet on Friday which was rather lively as a low flying drunk nearly demolished my piano on about the second number which was taking things a little to far in the audience participation stakes I feel, but a mostly good vibe and quite a reaction.

Down at the Joogleberry Playhouse in Brighton on Saturday and it was nice to meet Sandra Brighton and Barbara during the break. We were not quite hitting top form on one or two of the numbers but that's the way it is sometimes. We had a guest vocalist Greg Derham who has an excellent band of his own that is really worth seeing. We also had Menno who is a comedian who did some comedy songs in the interval so it was quite a varied bill. A few nice comments after the gig too. The Joogleberry is a very nice place to play but its a bit tiring combined with the drive back to London however I managed to keep awake just long enough to get home but I was a bit shattered I must admit. We do tend to play quite long sets which combined with a long drive can be a bit of a killer sometimes.

The band business grinds on inexorably but it is getting a little too much like a job in some respects. If you have an evening when you are not quite cutting it, even though the audience is with you and has enjoyed it, it is rather dishartening at times. The appeal of running off and joining the circus is only there before you join and not afterwards.

 

Winter Whats that all about then ?


18th January 2007 at 07:10 pm -My Real Birthday
A pretty good weekend with the Salisbury gig being an ab fab way to spend ones 50th Birthday. Enjoyed it loads and Mrs Diana came too which was a surprise as she is not often in attendance at gigs, everybody playing well and a great debut by the Treacles with their new line up.

Big respect to Dee Treacle(who my other half seemed quite intrigued by) as it was only her second gig and quite a crowd to play too but they did really well so they will be back in Feb to do it again.

I am finding the day job very tiring at the moment, I must admit but I am just about getting through it. I having to go a little further out on that proverbial limb again, so let's hope the branch can take the weight. Its just that whole winter thing where you run out of steam, and its so dull dreary that you can't be arsed to get out of bed and when you do, you think is it really worth it , but we have to fight the good fight otherwise what is there left...

Sales people don't you just love em. I know they have to make a living but in the day job I have to deal with one or two prize specimens. Its not something I would want to do.

The New Year so far

Date Posted: 13th January 2007 at 04:38 pm

Did my first gig since new years eve on Thursday down at O'Neals in Blackheath.Not my favorite venue but its was a very enjoyable gig and a good crowd. Slightly amused to an office party of coppers in celebrating their collegues promotion and or transfer.

One came over said "I am really enjoying the music, but you must get a lot of grief particulary in places like this". I explained it was actually one of our regular venues and so forth. I think it was a bit of an eye opener for them, and perhaps worth rather more than the average diversity training session

Off tonight to do my 200 gig with the dreaded Elephant Shelf and also the live debut of the treacles new vocalist Shazzy, should be fun !
Gloria (who I have big respect for) is also playing tonight, and she is always great entertainment.

The Salisbury Hotel is a really good venue on Shelf Home turf so we should have a few of the regular crowd in.

We have also just finished a new 5 track CD featuring 2 studio recordings and 2 live performance recordings made at the Joogleberry in Brighton plus a very old recording from the very first incarnation.

We will be selling the new cd tonight:Thanks to all at ShelfLife Productions who were bizzy duplicating it yesterday, as I have just finished the mixes this week, and the artwork was finalised yesterday too so its been quite an effort.

 

2007

Mood: Depressed

 

Date Posted: Yesterday at 12:10 am -
What's it mean to you?

It's going to be a busy year for me I know. 2006 was quite successful in many ways, but I feel that I don't have too much left in reserve now. Life sometimes gets a little too much for me to cope with at times. Ok I have a cunning plan or too up my sleave but are they going to work god only knows... I have the same aspirations and dreams that I had last year and just maybe I am getting closer to some of them.

I have lost contact with a few folks this year, not sure why though.Maybe I don't have enough in common with them anymore. Interestingly I was described by a singer who sometimes guests with our band as appearing aloof, which is actually not the case at all, it's actually a combination of shyness and anxiety and not wanting to put my foot in it by saying something stupid. Also I like people but I can't do small talk very well and I tend to dry up.

I also get almost agraphobic at time and could just lock myself away and not speak to anyone and not step outside the door, plus I am quite obsessive and get stressed when ever any sort of dead line is involved. I worry about time keeping but am nearly always late for everything, so pretty hopeless really.

And I still don't feel that I quite fit anywhere...

#221 A couple of days off.

Date Posted: 23rd December 2006 at 12:51 pm
Maybe I am just an old cynic, but to me the best bit about Christmas is having a couple of extra days off work.

My life has very strong demarcation lines now. Whilst I am very out away from the work environment I still feel the need to not have my TG aspect spill over in to the 9 to 5 at the moment.I think this is because its a way of putting up a barrier between who I feel I am and who people perceive I am and in a sense I feel that I would loose credibilty.That may be a controversial stance but I deal with a lot of quite blokey external contacts, and talking to sales reps is not my Forte, so these interactions are somewhat forced already, so for the moment keeping the double act up seems to be a practical solution. As far as being in business for myself thats a different matter.

I am not sure that at the moment I would want to break down that final line between Office World and the rest of my life, as it still gives me a bit of a refuge. One collegue from work has seen me performing with the Shelf but did not disclose anything much about it. One or two others are very interested in my musical endevours but so far they have not discovered anything to do with Diana though I am sure they could figure it out eventually.

#220 Seasons of mists and sore throaty-ness

Date Posted: 9th December 2006 at 11:39 am
Been feeling quite rough this week and very tired, the cough and throat problem is still there, but I have been sleeping a lot and that seems to have helped a bit. A low key weekend.

We are doing a gig at http://www.oliviersjazzbar.com/ in Greenwich tonight.Should be fun. Its a nice venue, very intimate and has a quite responsive crowd, and hope fully the weather will stay settled too, which may tempt people out.
This is about the only live music venue left in Greenwich now, and its future is a little uncertain too which is a shame.

Its been a very difficult week at the day job which, and it looks like its not going to get any better for a while yet.On the whole things are going well but there are several parallel projects going on and only myself and 1 trusty side kick to implement and build them whilst still keeping all the rest of our trusty home brewed systems working having just been informed that the replacement for these which will be built by a very well known contractor for central government( yes thats the one) will now be about another 5 years a way before its initial rollout. So we are now looking at ways to improve the robustness of our home brewed toys.

#219 December

Date Posted: 2nd December 2006 at 10:02 am

Well its here and the shortest day is coming very soon.work wise things are frantic and I am not too sure how well I can keep up with it.Had to do a presentation at work and that always seems a bit surreal to me.I can't always take things to seriously.

My Brother in Law died in hospital recently after suffering a sudden onset disease at the age of 55. He was a very laid back person most of the time and also one of the normal people that seemed to have a balanced life and not seem to suffer fron endless self-referrence.Its all in the role of the dice I suppose though.As it turned out I could not go to the funeral but he was very well liked and there were about 300 people in attendance. Alison had a puncture on the M25 whilst on the way which required a new tyre and so also missed the funeral.

Luckily the gigs have eased off a bit. last weekend we did 3 that went fairly well.We were at the Princess Alexandra in North London on Friday which has now become the home ground and got a fab reaction there.Then Saturday in Brighton at the Joogleberry Playhouse, which was also ace, and they do good veggie food too.Jess Green of the Treacles who is a Brighton body came to see us too and a had quite a good chat with her too as she is quite a muso one way and another. The Treacles should be quite good to see when they start giging I think.

This week only one down in Cobham and its a of a relief to be honest. I have a bit of a sore throat too and have been consuming industrial quantitys of raw garlic which may help a bit.

#218 Surviving Prince Albert For the weekend and other stuff

Date Posted: 18th November 2006 at 07:15 pm

Well the Battersea Real music weekend was a success, we managed to get 12 acts or so on over three days and a reasonable number of punters into, plus we have a lot of it on video too so I will add some of that to the web site eventually too. Quite strange spending a whole weekend in a pub, but not an unpleasant experience. The food at the Prince Albert's quite good too so that was a real advantage.

Thanks to all the bands that came along and took part too amongst whom were this lot:Greg Derham Band, Paul Garner Band, Jools and the Gamblers, Ed Benstead, Jimmy C, Delta Tom,Rob McCabe, Louis Cennamo, Natalie B, Ghost,Whiskey at Breakfast, Dead Cat Bounce and all others who took part. Special thanks to our roadie Jim and also Martin out new roadie, because Jim is moving to sound mixing now who worked hard to get it all to happen and to Ian Brown our good friend who underwrote the whole venture.

Played three times that weekend, We did a set with Jimmy C plus the Louis Cennamo Quartet very generously providing the rhythm section as his band couldn't make it and then later we did the Trio Act and the Elephant shelf full Monty in the evening and then we did The shelf again on Sunday and also with our guesting singer the totally awesome Jenny Mac as well as the wonderful Jessie Pie.

Great fun but having to be there all day from Midday past midnight in Saturday and similar on Sunday as well as playing was a bit shattering.
The aim was to re-launch the venue for live music but there were complaints about noise so this seems unlikely, which is a shame as its a really nice place to play, but you can't win them all.Still something may kick off from it eventually.

last weekend we were at the Hornsey Tavern on Saturday, and its was nice to meet up with Chrissy who plays bass in Funk/Soul band I think and had come up from Kent to see us, and on Sunday night we did a trio gig at the Princess Alexandria in Crouch end, which is also a really friendly venue and sort of on Shelf home turf.

This weekend so far we have been at O'Neals Blackheath on Thursday,(good reception but its always a terrible sound there, so it makes it hard work to play, then Friday at Viva Viva in Hornsey, again a very good night and good fun though its quite a small venue and fitting everyone on stage is a bit of a struggle.

Tonight its madame Vicky's Birthday and we have a gig at the Salisbury in Green lanes starting at about 10.00. It's a nice place to play because there is a reasonable amount of space to spread yourself in and its a good party crowd.

Tomorrow is collapse in a heap day before getting back to the office then Friday we are at it again.

#217 Tired
Date Posted: 2nd November 2006 at 11:07 pm

I am just so tired at the moment and aching quite a bit too. I seriously considering limiting my activities a bit as I am not functioning well at all.
Somehow I have got to get through this weekend in one piece, which is going to be difficult....

#216 Introspection and feeling a little odd

Date Posted: 17th October 2006 at 06:54 pm

Couldn't make it to work today as I was feeling a bit ill: went back to bed slept most of the day and felt better later. Just hope that I am am not up for a recurrence of previous problems, but I suspect its just a hiccup. Yesterday I had no concentration and just kept making mistakes and I suspect tomorrow will be the same, but if I am feeling a bit better that should help I think.
I seem to have been very introspective in the last couple of weeks which is fine for creativity, but living in your head can get a bit weird.

Perhaps its national 'Who am I week?' or something. Or perhaps its just the seasonal road hump that seems to slow my thought process about now. I have also been having quiet weird dreams and often I don't remember my dreams at all, but lots of the dreams involve people I have not seen for a long time, and a feeling of loneliness which is also a bit out of scope because recently I am hardly ever alone.

#215 Mist and mellow thingys time
Date Posted: 16th October 2006 at 08:31 am

2 more gigs: Friday at the Princess Alexandra in Crouch End to a very happy crowd who seem to be really enjoying it, and the floor was awash with beer by the end too. But a great really fun night and we finished very late it turned in to a 3 hour set and so to bed at 3 but still wide awake. Still not quite sure what to make of it all, but it seems to keep me happy doing this.

Had a very lazy Saturday.Off to Shepherds Bush O'Neals and again quite a fun evening, played a resonable set but not many people in as its only really busy there when the theater next door is open. In a rather playfull mood when we got to the venue just for a change. Played another fairly long set, plenty of people dancing which was cool and quite a lot of improvising on the numbers too.

Sunday working on recording one of my own tunes, doing a sort of slow celtic thingy which just needs a violin part added now.Also doing some minor changes to to website's and a very long phone call from my sister who is coming to visit next week.

Nipped out to take a couple of photos for a new
Promotional website for our new venture at the Prince Albert pub. www.batterseavillage.co.uk We are doing a Music weekend there which will be Blues Jazz and Folk/World music on November 3, 4, 5 which we are hopping will be a success as its another one of my local pubs and they are into promoting live music.There will be about 12 or 14 acts on over the weekend so fingers. toes knees and everything else crossed and touching wood it we hope it will be good.It will be the first time that I have played there too, but we are hopeing that it will be come a regular music venue if we can get enough folks through the door.

I note there is a crew of TG Metalists in lurking in South London called
Dys4ia http://www.myspace.com/dysphoriarock Rather different to the the stuff that I do solo or the Shelf gets up to but I am sure that they will good to see when they are out and giging. Don't know any off them personally but I suspect there will folks here that do.

There is quite an outbreak of Roses on myspace now too, quite a few familiar names and faces there. I have allso got a page there and have sort of started a blog there too. http://www.myspace.com/dianastone .Its music related but will have the odd picture of me as well and links to other that I do.

Anyway time for a the usual hours piano practice, then off to work for another day of tedium and crap. Hurrah

#214 Some good news-ish
Date Posted: 29th September 2006 at 01:05 pm

Had some good news on the day job front as a couple of projects that I am working have been approved so thats a couple of things less to worry about.

Still churning out the noise with the Shelf, out at O'Neals in Blackheath last night, not our most together gig but it went ok ish.Various people taking pictures, I wonder where they all go ? I was slightly hiddenl ast night behind our temporary horn section but as there were a few cock-ups this was no disadvantage.The very wonder Jenny Mac was doing vocals with us last night and her voice is totally awesome. Next month will be quite busy for gigs too.One thing that is very difficuilt is getting hold of venue owners or other folks when you are trying to get a booking confirmed, madame V is the one that is handling most of that and I can see its stressfull having tried to make a couple of calls whilst she was on her holidays.
BTW what is a holiday, I seem to remember these in the very distant past but I suspect they may be a myth.

So we seem to be having lots of rain is there still a drought ?

On the personal front one is trying not to take things too seriously at the moment to avoid to much of this

My concentration is a bit crap too. At the moment I am an old dog trying to learn a few new tricks but there is a slight mental log jam.
Also my voice seesm to have got rather wayward and completly canged its normal range, which is a bit disconcerting too, not sure yet if its a good or bad thing. I don't do much singing live, but it may be come an issue at some point if I ever start doing more of it.

#213 Down Time
Date Posted: 17th September 2006 at 10:39 pm

I am pretending to take a rest this weekend, but actually its not working that well.I have been getting very wound up and nervy for the last week and I have no concentration or inclination to get on with anything.
Though at the same time I am pacing about like a cat on a hot tin roof.
I have actually never seen a tin roof, but I digress.

I also feel quite low and I am going to have fight that. its the second anniversary of my ceasing to take SSRI's and on the whole its been quite an interesting ride, but I still cannot deal with the silences when I am alone with my thoughts.

Interestingly the speed of the cycle's between mania and a low are a lot more rapid these days and far less severe, so a feeling of total worthlessness might only last half a day, which is a help.

Normal service will be resumed shortly.....

Date Posted: 10th September 2006 at 09:48 pm

A Pleasant weekend interlude.

Starting a with a rather manic gig in on Friday Barnet, with a couple of guest Trumpet players. The audience was well tanked up by the end of it and it was a relief to get away at the end. The sound balance was not good either which always makes things a strain.
Mair (A Welsh Artist who met me and the band at the Worlds End and who has a very interesting website too, which is well worth a look) who is newish to the forum came along and said hello in the interval which was nice too.She is quite involved with the Beaumont society and has suggested that I pop along to something at some time. I am not to sure what they would make of me to be honest! I was a member many years ago and it was a helpfull place to start. Home at about 02:30

Saturday we were at Olivers Bar in Greenwich and it was a great night in every respect.Much more fun than Friday. Olivers is a very friendly place too though it is a very intimate venue. Everyone was in good spirits with quite a lot of laughing and jokeing going on amoungst the band.We also had Jenny Mac who will be singing with us occasionally in the future get up and do a number too. Home at about 02:30 again..

Had a lie in on Sunday,Phew.Then in the afternoon we did a half hour set at the Tavistock festival which took place just off Portabello Road, great fun and a very good reception too.A nice Sunny afternoon and just warm enough.There is something about September that always makes me feel good.I think because we went on our holidays then when I was a little one.
Chatted to a few of the audience afterwards.Then off to the pub for a swift half and home.

Next weekend We are having a break, which is good becasue I am getting a little knackered, and I need to do a bit of mental catch up. Also there are a few things on the home front that might need attention too.

Shattered but strangely relaxed

Date Posted: 5th September 2006 at 12:10 am - Comments (1)

Played a brill gig at the Princess Alexander in Crouch End on Friday. Fantastic reaction and the place was totaly packed by the end of the evening.Lots of new faces in the crowd too, and hopefully they will come again, I could do with a few nights like that.just a totaly amazing buzz.Very favorable comments afterwards about yours truly too thanks folks. Vamped it up slightly that night with a slightly less demure look. Don't think anyone got any pictures though.

Then Saturday down in Chobam surrey at a little country pub called the Castle Grove, again a very enthusiastic crowd so great fun to play. Got there quite early and chatted with the bar staff for a while.The last time I drove down to Chobam I got completly lost and went around in circles.
Some very nice feedback from a local pro muso who caught our second set was impressed.Its always good to hear positive stuff from a pro.

Spooky occurance of the day:

Jim our roady, the local muso we were chatting to and myself all share a birthday on January 18, perhaps I should start a club.

Back to work today and it was so rubbish, I was soooo bored.
I expect tommorow will be just as exciting too.

OMG its you...

Date Posted: 28th August 2006 at 12:09 pm

A couple of very good gigs this weekend with a very good crowd.
The Hornsey Tavern on Friday night, with a slightly larger band as we had Sax and Trumpet with us, too very good players Antonio and Sam.
Really lifted the whole thing to another level.

Well it finally happened, someone from the office came to our gig last night at the Salisbury in Green Lanes.Shes the PA to our Chief Excutive.After we had done the last number she came up to the stage and said she really enjoyed it, and she did not know that I played Violin as well as Keyboards.Ironically it took me a moment to recognise her because she has really big hair, but has it tied back.Then she said something else and the penny dropped. And I said
its you, and she said "yes of course it is", so she will be getting a CD or 2. the strange thing is that she is from west London and was out with boyfriend and they just happened to drop in by chance. She says she will definiately be coming to another gig. I think I was more suprised to see her than she was to see me. As far as I was aware she had no idea that I was tranny before last night, but she was totaly cool with it. She said that she realised it was me when Vicky did the introductions for the band.

One more to go at the Haven Bistro tonight then back to work tommorow.
Then Friday off we go again at the Princess Alexandra in Crouch End which is a venue we have not played before.

Scrotes assorted

Date Posted: 25th August 2006 at 06:49 pm

Some darling little scrote or scrotes plural stole one half of our PA. its costing an arm and a leg to get a replacement, so one is not very pleased at all. However the show must go on as they say.

Moving swiftly along

Date Posted: 22nd August 2006 at 11:28 pm

Well doing the usual stuff I guess, 3 gigs last week at Olivers Jazz Bar in Greenwich on the Friday, which is a new venue for us.Nice atmosphere but rather bijou as its in a cellar.Oliver is very nice and has a big moustache, this may have significance I have been told. Not a bad gig as the audience loved it but the band was suffering from TFL syndrome.( I will leave you to work that one out) plus there were a few fluffs.

Greenwich is always a difficult drive from my bit of London, so I need to find a sensible route may be via Birmingham?

Saturday during the day doing some web updates on the shelfs website, then off to the Salisbury at Green Lanes for the next gig, and on much better form too.Very good fun but a bit shattered afterwards.

Sunday
dropped the car off to get its MOT done.Chatted to a Client about doing a website for them. Then off to The Abbey in Kentish Town for a Trio gig.
A good vibe but a bit shattered, also we had a guest appearance from a local tradition folk player on mandoline on a couple of numbers.There should be some great pictures from that night as he was very beardy and Kilted with sporon too. How eclectic is that. Ms Vicky said that my legs had been commented on in a complimentary way, but I think they may have talking about the mandoline player whos legs were amazingly hairy.Some chat about violin playing and european influences.I did'nt have the heart to say that my fiddle playing is of course traditional battersea style.

I have been watching with interest as ever the transitioning threads and I see that a lot of girls are self-medicating.I can see why though if it was me I might be worried about the quality of the products that I was getting, but then we are all adults, and there is a lot of information out there.But I guess I would say to people get the best advice you can.A friend of mine who is no longer active at this forum is doing the same thing, but I think there may be tears before bedtime as their partner is not happy about it.

In many respects things are going well, but I feel that there are a few bridges to cross before arriving at the crossroads and having to make a choice. Some parts of my life have opened up amazingly and I am living quite a different lifestyle than I ever could have imagined. But I know that there may well be more.

Whats occuring then.

Date Posted: 11th August 2006 at 10:23 pm

Video, video on the wall ...

Well the video that Ralph shot in Brighton is excellent, and the band look realy good on it, plus the sound is great too.It should help us get some better gigs.It will look great on the Elephant Shelf website.What was very noticable is how well the band is playing now, the ensemble work is much better.It's very odd watching yourself on video, and you do become hyper-critical after a while.

Friday night at Joogleberrys

The gig last night was good, great sound and there should be some really good video too.It was a very energetic gig, lots of instrument swapping on my part.We did some newish numbers so that was a bit of a challenge but often the only way to get a new number right is to do it in live performance then eventually it will sink in. Every one seemed to be having a good time audiance and band included. The Joogleberry also has great food too so well worth a visit if you are down that way. Not quite as full as we would have hoped but there is a lot going on in Brighton this week so a huge amount of competion. I must get down to Brighton for a chill-out day some time soon.

Tuesday Night

Down in Brighton at the Joogleberry Theatre last night. doing a gig with trio.Really tired driving back last night though so having a very lazy day today.
We were on with Trudy Styles as part of her show, and it went really well.Fab reponse from the audience, and hopefully we will get a few folks along on Friday when Elephant Shelf play. It if it go's half as well as Tuedays gig it wil be brilliant.

Florence at "The Worlds End" but no Zebadee or Dylan the Rabb

Date Posted: 23rd July 2006 at 12:19 pm

Did a gig at the Worlds End Finsbury park last night.A fun night though way too hot for comfort and soaking with sweat by the end of it, so I suspect not looking quite so good close up.Everyone putting out loads on energy even though the bands combined age must be about 300 years old! Also met Florence from Roses who lives around the corner and had a chat to her.It's always nice to meet new people, especially those from the forum face to face.Thanks for the drink Florence,you will have to come to another gig so I can buy you one.Michele O'B on camera duty again,with her usual entourage at the bar.Plenty of Arsenal supporters in too,(I think its a sort of football team, but I am not really sure what that is)though it being so hot quite a few people sat outside on the Pavement where it was cooler, but we opened the doors up on the quieter numbers and a lot of people wandered in the catch the last set. Vicky was sporting possibly the shortest skirt I have seen on a non-working girl under over the age consent, but managed to carry it off.
Jessie was dressed in a rather demure floaty number which looked great too. I was in orange which matched my glowing face by the end I suspect.
Tonight the trio is off to play at Abbey in Kentish Town which is a nice little oub that has food and a suitably trendy camdenish clientel.

Hot weekend

Date Posted: 16th July 2006 at 10:10 am

Played at Viva Viva in Hornsey on Thursday as the Trio, it was quite well received, though it was wrongly billed.The Trio gigs can be a bit exausting as two hours of quite energetic violin playing is usually my part in it, where as with the band I get a nice sit down at the keyboard a lot of the time.We may work a second guitar part in on the acoustic gigs on one or two numbers to make a bit of a contrast. Then Friday night some thing a little bit different, Vicky Martin and I played at a book launch for Vivian Fogel a local poetess at Crouch End Library.Michele O'Brian in attendance and taking a few pictures.Not sure what all those litterary types though of us.I think a few were slightly bemused. A very different kind of gig and we may have picked up a little bit of interest there.Then off to the pub and home a bit earlier than usual.Rehearsing some new numbers by Jessie and Vicky yesterday then off to the pub, and a meal at the Italian restaurant. We sat outside for that as the weather was allowing it, and for a change it was a little cooler. Today I am doing a spot playing in Notting Hill at the Portobello Gold with the Trio again. Should be fun as its a very nice venue.

O'Neals Blackheath

Posted: 7th July 2006 at 05:18 pm

Did a south of the river gig with the Shelf last night at O'Neals in Blackheath.
Brilliant atmosphere and the crowd really up for it.Like other O'Neals its very lively and a mostly youngish crowd, and they loved it, which was nice.
Michele O'Brian taking lots of pictures it being her manor of course.
Sound not the best as a slightly odd shaped space, and also like other O'Neals it tends to be very noisy, so nothing to subtle, just up front go for it numbers. Dan was also a big hit on Didgeridoo may be it's the phallic aspect.The girls certainly seem to like Dan.How many bands do you know with 2 trannys and a 6' 6'' Antipodean playing a Didgeridoo? Thats got to be a USP(Unique Selling Point). Parking in Blackheath a bit rubish though, but managed to slip in around the corner.On the drive over had to go via Peckham and intrigued to see the Police checking cars for Guns, well its different from dogy tax discs I suppose.Traffic was a bit of a pain so I must find a better route for the next gig as its going to be a regular venue.

The Good the Good and the Ugly

Psychedelic Date Posted: 3rd July 2006 at 11:24 pm

A fun weekend with the band.On Friday played a wedding do at Lauderdale House, great fun. Quite amuzing as we had an improptue dance troupe of little ones, circling in front of the stage area with Jessie leading them like the Pied Piper at one point. Punters well pleased and everybody happy.
Next day down to Bracknell as the Trio to Play at the 'Big Day Out' which is a one day arts and music festival and we played in a mini Circus style tent.Was well received and we sold a few CD's too. Then a stroll around and chated to a couple of punters, if it had not been so hot I think I would have stayed a bit longer, but it was just too hot.
Sunday at home for most of the day and working on a new recording but it was just so hot.Then off to Camden to do a gig at the Fidlers Elbow.
Got there a bit early and Dan was already in the pub which was almost completely empty except one family. Not a good sign but eventually a few punters turned up though not a huge crowd, but very enthusiastic.Very hot and looking like *Bleep* at the end and glowing more than a little.
Landlord not impressed though. So won't be doing that one again.
Can't win em all.

Date Posted: 30th June 2006 at 04:42 pm

Got a day off, its boiling hot out, so went down to the Kings Road to look in the shops, only around the corner for me but way out of my price league except for John Lewis at Sloane Square but they don't have a sale on.
Its great that girls are getting taller these days to as it makes my size almost allways available, except the shoes which are 9s unless there sandals in which case its 8.

Also doing a lot of planning work to figure if I can make sufficient to live on with this muso stuff.Looks like I am going to have to learn a little basic accounting too.Spreadsheets fortunately hold fears for me Looks like long term I may be able to be a full time musician which means being full time in every other respect.
In the short time it means a lot more music in my life which is cool.
So maybe I am running away from the Civil Service to join the circus.Good I here you cry there a far too many clowns there already.
How this will affect the domestics I don't know yet.We will have to wait and see. My SO is not a party animal which makes things difficult if your in a band. She came to a recent gig and sat in the corner with a face like a slapped arse for 2 hours, so she is not going to get envolved. The Shelf is playing at a Weding tonight in Highgate so its posh frock on for that.It could do with being a little cooler by tonight though, but it stops me eating too much I guess.

Tomorrow our Trio 'The Cleavage of Death' are playing as part of the 'Big Day Out' which is in Bracknell at Southhill Park, should be great fun I think. Vicky was very excited as she's got a picture of her grinning manically in the brochure that she picked up in Smiths.How cool is that then.
Then Sunday night my first proper gig in camden as I missed last weeks one because the car was having a senior moment.
Then next week we do all again only more so...You might be suprised to know how little confidence I actually have, and although I love to play on a bad its a real struggle to get out there, but once comfortably esconced on a stage it's OK
I did hear the odd rumour that a lot of performers are cronically shy, well that will be me then, may be we are just looking for that little bit of approval.

I have now put a forum on www.elephantshelf.com so we can interact a with our followers, should be fun once we have a few people registered as at the moment we are useing email lists for a lot of stuff but forums are great as there instant of course.I need to do a few hacks to get it looking right but its written in php and I am ok with that, though I am the worlds slowest at actually writeing code, and hack other peopels about quite quickly.
If only our work place woulde go open source we could save £100000's but then I don't want them to because I want less work not more.
Cool theres a bit of a breeze starting up now so that should make tonight a litle bit more fun.Almost toenail painting time now so must dash.

Things look better in the morning

Date Posted: 24th June 2006 at 11:58 am

A good nights sleep seems to have helped a bit. Its sometimes nice to have time and space to think. Often when you have the kind of mood swings that I do its hard to explain to people and the easiest option is just to keep away from folks for a little while so that snapping, biteing or scratching is not an issue ! I think if I can change my work regime it will help because my life style is not really quite right though it may not help in the current situation at home. There is a certain level of denial from my partner about the way things are and where they are going.We had a crisis last year and separated and then got back together 6 months later but the world had changed a lot for me in that time. Things are not sorted out yet and seem to have returned to a similar situation than before I left,When you have to people who have long term mental problems living together it can get very difficult.
The problem occurs if one person is aware of there problems and seeks help and the other admits they have problems but when given profesisonal help and counselling will not engage with it, but then subsqently they complain that its has been of no help.
My SO is now on anti-depressents after finally agreeing to take them after many years, and this has reduced tension, but not helped with the other problems. As you can imagine this can cause more than a little stress.
After a few years respite from suffering from severe anxiety myself that particular problem has started to rear its head again, but I am starting to deal with it again.
It realy is not helpful when you are off to do a set somewhere as before the show can be pretty stressful at the bests of times anyway.I suspect I need some more councelling, maybe a top-up.
Anyway time to get the show on the road again I think.

Not that good a day

Date Posted: 24th June 2006 at 12:08 am -

My mood has gone right down to the bottom again. Lots of minor league agravation and something really annoying that I will mention here if its not resolved by the morrow.

Over under sideways down

Date Posted: 22nd June 2006 at 11:11 am

Ok then. I am about to put a proposal to work that I go part time so I would do 3 days a week. This would be perfect for me as I can then really ramp up the music activitys which I would love to do and possible also do some frelancing on the IT front too. They should go for it because it will save them money, which they need to do.I can get by on the lesser amount but it would mean a lot more time for all that band stuff. Also for fixing a few other things that are wrong in my life too. A lot has become clear to me in the last year or so and I am stoping blaiming over people for the weird shit that happens in my life.Yes sometimes stuff is over peoples faults, but when you ignore the signs and do nothing about whats happening then I guess its your own fault for doing nothing about ought.

Anyone here on myspace.com ?I have a website there and its been quite interesting to see who has contacted me, a lot of bands and musos which was the point of going there, but also a few guys of a certain age looking to make another kind of music together.Its kind of amusing really and flattering on the whole and I am sure that some of them would be very nice but I am only looking for musical action right now.

Boring tecky stuff.Finally got around to sorting out a new router so now when I use my other computer via its wirless link it stays on line.Any one still got a PC still runing windows 98 ? My old pc with all the music stuff on is win 98 and I just can't be bothered to upgrade.Before all you nerdy types start shouting linex at me, a lot of my software would not run on that platform but I agree its very good for a lot of other stuff. Also still got a steam powered laptop that cost me an arm and a leg and is virtually useless now, though it makes quite a good sampler and a drum machine.
Before I had an IT Job I was fascinated by programming, now I seem to have forgotten most of what I knew and I find it really boring, I supose everything go's in cycles, though I gave up going on cycles a couple of years back when I was still on anti-depressants as I had a slight tendancy to fall off.
So I got rid of the bike, though I do walk a bit now to compensate.
So how did we get from Myspace to bikes. Who knows, and who cares.
Finally got a very long and swishy white skirt to look suitably summerish in and so now the weather has mutiated back in to proper english weather as in a bit cloudy with the odd sunny bit.

Got my first outdoor gig at a street festival in Camden this weekend, so that will be different. We are doing an hour there and then doing another gig later in the evening. Details on the www.elephantshelf.com website as ever. Actually my car playe dup so I did'nt make in the end.Shame

I notice that quite a few pictures from my websites are turning up other peoples websites, now I could block that quite easily but its ok I have got the bandwidth to spare, so maybe its a form of flattery.I found one on a goth RG's site. Actually I am in the picture, it was taken about 3 or 4 years ago when I last went to Scarborough with Roses, and was taken by the very wonderfull Helen Bach (late of this forum) and now mostly a native New Yorker I think. I last saw Helen at one of our gigs just before Christmas with her partner Petra, but I have sort of lost touch since then.

Actually now with the band and work its difficult to keep up todate with people really.My Social circle is really mostly Elephant Shelf related now, and people I meet through the band.I am making a lot of new non-trans friends that way though, but its a shame I haven't been able to envolve a few of my other friends.There lives are still quite compartmentalised though, where as mine has not got the same defining boundarys. The next step would be the day job and its a thought thats in my mind.The time is not quite right yet though but in a year or so maybe.

Well one step at a time, I suppose.

That tingling feeling

Mood: Cool Date Posted: 16th June 2006 at 10:38 pm

Played the Lion Lounge with the new slightly smaller incarnation of Elephant Shelf.Turned in to a very good night, with the band sounding good and a quite a good crowd.There was a slight interuption to the procedings as there was mains voltage leaking to places its should not have been.This was hinted at by crackling noises like distant lighting bolts crackling interferance on an old transister radio. So after experinencing a slightly unnerving tingling feeling there was some frantic power lead swaping which fixed the problem, but it was an interesting moment. After that things went very well. So I was feeling in quite a good mood this morning at work for a change.
I am feeling a bit less stressed that I was, I am not sure if its just that I am resigned to the fact that things are somewhat out of my control and I should get a sense of perspective about everything.

Its sooo Hot

Date Posted: 11th June 2006 at 11:50 pm

Feeling slightly boiled today. Out last night playing at Hornsey Tavern, a fair night but so hot it was hard to keep the energy up and one really glows big time. Today over to Vickys to get her computer back to health.Seems to have worked Ok.
Got a great a pair of red wedge shoes that V had got that did not fit and just like Cinders they fit me fine.Wondered how well they would go down at work.Not yet tiger. Well pleased.Played with the trio at Viva Viva in the evening, not that good a vibe though.Then another quick drink in the Hornsey Tavern and home.Could do with it being a bit cooler but the make up is keeping together just about.

Blimey people actualy read this stuff

Mood: Curmudgeon Date Posted: 10th June 2006 at 01:30 am

I do get a certain pleasure from posting my trivia here, and its sort of useful at times.The weird summer cold seems to be retreating after a truly epic battle lasting about 3 weeks, but I still feel very tired. Last night went down to watch Jimmy C and the Blues Dragons (no not what your thinking ! ) and sat in on the second set along with madam V and her ever complaining amp which started playing up again,bless it.Its never been the same since it was dropped on its head, in much the same way as I was at about 9 months old.
Never did me any harm though I do have a flat head.I think in the late 50's it was some quick test for the long term viabilty of offspring or something in a similar vain to tin baths and outside loos which I suspect they still have in uncouth regions beyond the northern arc of the M25.

It has crossed my mind a few times recently that it might be time to capitalise on the bricks and morter (well re-enforced concreate and breaze blocks actually) and swan off to cheaper climbs possibly somewhere in the aformentioned uncouth regions,rather than over the rainbow though it would mean waving "So long" to a few things. I am reliably informed that there is life in other regions of England and I do have some evidence to support this but.
Apparently theres even music...

Today in the office I felt totaly alien, more and more I feel like I am just passing through. The people there are very nice, and I would miss some of them, but I don't socialise much with them mostly because I am too tight to buy any drinks of course.There is one totaly stunning girl that works there whos all of 25 I should think and it always lifts my day to speak to her and makes me forget how crusty and ancient I am for just a few moments.

Perhaps there is no escape.

Wind of change
Date Posted: 7th June 2006 at 10:47 pm
Not sure why but I have a strong urge to vanish off the raydar for a while.
I am tired, my perspective on life is getting quite distorted and every thing feels like a role-playing game.

Now what do you want if ..

Mood: Twisted Date Posted: Yesterday at 12:54 am

Still feeling rough and got a cough, went back to work today and its still rubbish. I really wish I could just walk away and leave it all behind.
I don't hav eany where else to go though so thats not really an answer. I am not really that good at anything and I always feel so tired these days. I am feeling depressed again, the attraction of going to bed an staying there is getting stronger all the time.

I need a break from the work environment, but if I take anytime off at all everything just gets worse and the pile of crap gets bigger and bigger.
There is nothing worse than never being able to complete anything and thats the situation that I find myself in. Today I have only been swearing under my breath, but I am sure I could escalate this by the end of the week to a full on stream of profanities, though that sounds as though it might require a lot of energy to do.

My dreams are getting a bit tattered around the edges too and my capacity for hope has diminished.Its terribly difficult when one is surrounded by frightfully enthusiastic types and having to nod in agreement and say yes it will be wonderfull later, but there is a huge gap in my life and something is missing.I also feel as if I am invisible and as though I don't exist, its a very weird feeling and I have had it before but not for many years though.

That irrepressible Jumbo that is the Shelf continues to thunder across the plains to the watering holes of North East London.Its all starting to be come a bit of a blur now though. We had gigs on Saturday at the Salisbury with a couple of Roses girls along too in Green lanes and at Maddens in Finchley on Sunday which went well enough.Then we had a rehersal on the Monday, which is a rare phenomina now.We are a proper band now as we have a rusty Ford Transit too to cart our stuff about in.It has somewhat excentric doorlocks, but I am sure we will come to grips these eventually. Jim our roadie use his archaine knowledge to gain entrance to the vehicle which mysteriously seems capable of locking its self when left unattended, a truly remarkable charactaristic, and it still proudly displays a helradic device with the following motto "No tools left in the van overnight".

I put a couple more tracks on my soundclick music site tonight, so I continue to insinuate myself across the internet in my attempt at world domination.If thats alright with you of course.

193 Human nature, what is it ?

Date Posted: 26th May 2006 at 12:55 pm

I watched the news on tele last night and saw the extraordinary video of the murder of 20 year old Daniel Pollen in a car park. A completely motiveless crime with no provocation. Of course the law states that is not murder as it was not pre-meditated.It just completely does my head in.Why would any wish to do such a thing, what goes on in other peoples heads...
I can understand anger, I can understand rage I know what those things are.Maybe I could get my head around it if there was a arguement that escalated in to a fight though it would still have been just as tragic.
It is at these times that I am reminded that perhaps old MaggieThatcher was right with her famous quote "There is no such thing as society" as there can have been no sense in which the perpertraitors of this attack could have felt any sense of obligation to social norms or there fellow human beings in general.Are we now so isolated as individuals that we feel no moral obligations to our peers ?

192 Still feeling very wierd

Mood: Psychedelic Date Posted: 25th May 2006 at 10:13 pm

Not quite recovered from this Fluey type thing, still very dizzy, and acheing in some very strange places.Was supposed to be out tonight at the Lion Lounge doing an acoustic night. Will be the first gig that I have missed in 2 years, so perhaps not too bad a record.I rang work and things are sort of OK, so I think they will survive.
I could just about sleep for a week though, so thank goodness its the bank holiday so maybe I will be functional by the end of it all.Trouble is when I get back we are straight in to the audit again.Ho Hum.

191 Is it time to look for a new job
Date Posted: 24th May 2006 at 06:59 pm
But seriously, may be it is time to think about doing something different, like road sweeping maybe, or bespoke earwax removal while you wait, or perhaps a "Dial a insult" service or maybe something really exciting like stacking boxes. Did'nt go to work today as this cold/Flue type thing got really bad yesterday, temperature went right up acheing all over, and had a very uncomfortable night but I am feeling a bit better today, though still coughing rather a lot.
Rang up HR to tell them I would not be in, and was asked what is wrong with you "where would you like to start " I said "I am irritable, slightly paranoid someone is danceing very badly just above the bridge of my nose in hiking boots,and rivers of snot are streaming from my bodily orifices, and I think that this may reduce my effectiveness".
HR person "Yes, but whats wrong with you"... No only joking but I was taken aback to be expected to list symptoms.perhaps I should have gone in to more explicit graphic detail.had some very lurid dreams last night too.
I shall continue my free-form trapeze act with out the safety net of a spell checker.
Don't you just love the internet, "Nation shall speak drivel unto nation" or in my case snot.

190 Two flat tyres

Date Posted: 22nd May 2006 at 08:03 pm

Got off the bus and walked past my car, noticed it had got 2 flat tyres both on the same side.Very odd as I check my tyre pressure regularly in fact about 3 days before so it looks like some little *bleep*s having a go. Not very pleased at all.

189 Hi Ho Hi Ho ifs off to the Anual Lecture we go

Date Posted: 22nd May 2006 at 08:39 am

Got the annual lecture today in a big hotel not a million miles from westminister, and being a goverrnment department we have have got the jolly old Home sec popping down for a chat and to tell us what he expects we are doing about thoose criminal types.(No I don't work in
Imigration and Nationalty).I shall try not to cough and sneaze too loudly though. I can't stand these sort of do's but luckily they only occur about once a year, so I wil be strangly attired in my bloky suite which comes out once a year on average, with only my IT person pony tail to indicate who I am.
Its still quite odd working as a bloke when I now live most of live the predominant prt of life looking mostly like a girly as Ms Tall might phrase it.
Just time for a quick tinkle on the piano before I go though.

Maybe I will write a song about:
"Beechams Flu Plus, cause its just such wonderfull stuff, I can ever get enough.
Whoo, overdose..."

In E flat based on on of the II V I harmonic sequences, a light swing ballard perhaps.

OMG I am rambling nurse the screens...

188 Sore Throat

Date Posted: 22nd May 2006 at 12:57 am

Got a really annoying sore throat now. Did a Shelf gig last night at O'Neals in Woking with a very young crowd, they all seemed to be having a jolly good time, it's always nice to have a really a appreciative crowd. Noticed when we finished that the local constabulary was much in evidence on the streets.Every one good natured and enjoying themselves though and a real plus point doors at the stage end so did not have to do the excuse me dance loading up to go home.Heard a rumour that it might get a bit lively and it was in a good way, people up and dancing after the first number.

To bed at 03:00 as usual, but got a Sunday off as it's my wedding aniversary today, 19 years and still married ish.

First rule of trannying, tell your partner sooner rather than later, its only taken mine about 17 years to forgive me for this...

187 Slighty more with it today

Date Posted: 20th May 2006 at 11:41 am

Out